Category Archives: Writing

What I was thinking the First Time I Watched “Girls”

What I was thinking the First Time I Watched “Girls”

When my wife and I first leeched on to my parents’ HBO Go account, I was so stoked.

When my wife and I first leeched on to my parents’ HBO Go account, I was so stoked.

Game of Thrones! Boardwalk Empire! Veep! The Wire! All of these critically-lauded shows were finally at my fingertips… [READ THE REST]

Written for Fandrop.

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Have You Heard About The New Nicolas Cage Movie?

Have You Heard About The New Nicolas Cage Movie?

Have you heard about the new Nicolas Cage movie? According to my inside source, it’s going to be pretty flippin’ great. Mind-blowing even…

Have you heard about the new Nicolas Cage movie? According to my inside source, it’s going to be pretty flippin’ great. Mind-blowing even…

Who’s my source? Uh, I can’t reveal that information… [READ THE REST]

Written for Fandrop.

10 Examples of Terrible Parenting in Music

10 Examples of Terrible Parenting in Music

“Cats in the Cradle,” Harry Chapin – This is really the quintessential bad parenting jam. Which is funny because your parents probably love it… [READ THE REST]

Written for Fandrop.

Why Robert Smith Should be the Next Doctor Who

Why Robert Smith Should be the Next Doctor Who

Last week, the BBC announced that Matt Smith will be ending his four-year stint on Doctor Who at the end of this season. Naturally, this news prompted legions of Whovians to get very emotional.

Naturally, this news prompted legions of Whovians to get very emotional.

But once it all sunk in, the focus turned to the important question of who will be the next Doctor… [READ THE REST]

Written for Fandrop.

How To Drive 1,000 Miles In A Jetta With Two Cats And A Snake Plant

How To Drive 1,000 Miles In A Jetta With Two Cats And A Snake Plant

Bereft of any real understanding of what’s about to happen, you’ll smile at the other travelers as you head north on I-95. Palms will fade to cypress trees as the sun crests over the horizon. You’ll think: “I’ve heard people talk about ‘finding themselves’ on long drives like this. That idea seemed silly before, but today — here and now, on this most glorious morning — I understand. Things just make sense out here.” This is when you’ll catch your first whiff of cat poop… [READ THE REST]

Written for Thought Catalog.

Kanye Wes Anderson, Meet Seven Other Rapper-Director Hybrids

The internet’s going nuts over the Kanye Wes Anderson Tumblr. So naturally, we decided to rip off the basic concept.

Here are 7 more ridiculous rapper/director mash-ups:

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[READ THE REST HERE]

Made for Slacktory.

Kanye Wes Anderson, meet seven other rapper-director hybrids

Every Phone Interview I’ve Ever Had

Every Phone Interview I’ve Ever Had

Hi, Mr. Moss-China? Moss-sheena? Am I saying that right? Ohhh, okay. Well, my name is Janet and I’m a recruiter at [company]. I’m so glad you could take some time to speak with me today. Oh, you’re glad too? Good, that’s good. Anyway, big thanks for going through our rigorous online application process. You’re probably wondering why we asked you to upload your resume on our site, then made you re-type all of its contents into an 11-part form. That just makes it easier on our end to quantify candidates’ professional backgrounds. We then sort that data and call the applicants who wind up at the top of our spreadsheet. So lucky you, right? Hey, that reminds me; do you have experience with Excel… [READ THE REST]

Written for Thought Catalog.

Six Reasons the Beatles Suck

Six Reasons the Beatles Suck

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Paul, John, George and – to a lesser extent – Ringo, please forgive me. I’ve been commissioned by Slacktory editor and known hedonist Nick Douglas to write a list of six reasons why the Beatles weren’t the greatest band of all time. I would have turned him down, but I’ve got two cats to feed and, well, I need the money… [READ THE REST]

Written for Slacktory.

Follow Friday: @MottRomney2012

Follow Friday: @MottRomney2012

@MottRomney2012 is equal parts political candidate, cyborg and Egyptian hawk deity. But more than anything, he’s an AMERICAN. The only question is: can his bizarre rants about “Oboama” and the failings of the “U.A.S.” government score him some write-in votes this November… [READ THE REST]

Written for Slacktory.

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Doing Yoga With My Wife

Doing Yoga With My Wife

I am the only man in the studio. I am silent, seated Indian-style on a rented mat. My oversized Lake Huron t-shirt and basketball shorts are a sharp contrast to the tight-fitting Lululemon Athletica yoga gear stretched over the lanky bodies around me. My wife senses my discomfort. She says “There were other guys in here last week, I swear.” I look at her solemnly… [READ THE REST]

Written for Thought Catalog.

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